It's Not All Black and White

Thursday, September 6, 2007

My Life: Updated

I'm separating these posts so that you can choose which to read and which to skip over. So, here's where I've been for the past week, since you and I both know I haven't been here blogging.

My mom's cancer is eating her bones, particularly her femur, to the point that it was ready to break just from her own body weight. So her doctor sent her to the emergency room as the only means of getting a bed in the hospital so that she could have surgery: drilling a whole down her leg bone from hip to knee to insert a metal rod and pins to support her. Once the cancer is in remission, the bones will rebuild themselves. My parents arrived at the emergency room at 2:30 in the afternoon last Wednesday. I arrived at about 5:30 in the afternoon. They FINALLY got her a room at two o'clock IN THE MORNING!!! So I had to get a security guard to walk me to my car in the now closed parking lot in not the best part of town. I get to bed about three a.m. Then, Thursday through Sunday I split my time between visiting my mom, cleaning my house a little and sleeping. Sunday, I visit my mom and come home to a house full of people my husband had invited over a few weeks ago. They stick around for an enjoyable but tiring (for me) evening until sometime past midnight. Monday my mom got discharged and went home, so I pretty much layed around all day. Aaaaah...bliss.

Tuesday I make the 3 -1/2 hour round trip drive to my mom's, staying all day cleaning, doing laundry, picking up medicines, putting dinner together. While there, my aunt and a visiting friend both ask if I'm staying the night or for a few days to help my mom. Feeling guilty that I had not planned to do this, I say I can do whatever. I did, however, go home.

Wednesday, I have a dentist appointment for a cleaning, exam, and tooth extraction. You know, because I haven't been having enough fun already. As promised, the worst part was the Novocaine, and the tooth is out before I even know what's going on. Have you ever passed out? I have the unfortunate tendency of doing so when having blood drawn. The point being, I KNOW what it feels like when I'm about to pass out. I'm standing at the counter, waiting to pay my dentist bill, and the feeling's coming on strong. "Is there somewhere I can lie down? I feel really dizzy." The receptionist's response it to look at me like I'm crazy and tell me I can sit in the lobby if I really want. Sparing only a second to consider what a moron she is, I book it to a lobby seat and start to put my head between my knees, since my only other options are lying on the floor or falling into a boneless heap on the floor...not cool, either of them. Then I remember the dentist's dire warning: do not spit, smoke, use a straw or BEND OVER as this could result in the blood clot falling out, causing "dry socket" and a pain so unbearable even narcotics will not help. Okay, back to a sitting position. I am now terrifying all of the small children in the office getting their back-to-school cleanings. One mother insists on bringing me a cool, damp paper towel, as, according to her, I'm "looking pretty green". The receptionist at this point decides that yes, maybe I should lie down, and directs me to one of the dentist chairs in the back, which she, of course, leaves in the upright position. So, I'm trying to slink down as far as I can to get some blood back to my brain, while at the same time text messaging my mother-in-law for a ride home and explaining to the dentist (with a large wad on gauze shoved in the back of my mouth) what is going on. I finally feel well enough to stand up, so I slink back to the counter in all my shameful indignity to pay my bill and then sit in my car until my ride arrives. Thank goodness MIL was home, only ten minutes away and actually did come right away. The rest of the day consisted of a pressure headache (due to the near unconsciousness), almost passing out each time I got off the couch for several hours, and eating tiny pieces of cut up spaghetti for dinner like a pre-schooler.

And if you've read this far, thank you! I hope I didn't sound too irritating, whiny, or downtrodden. I've taken the time to rest and rejuvenate. My parents have been really good, appreciative, and undemanding. It's me that feels I should be there as much as I can, not them. My husband has been so supportive, even though I wigged out on him a couple of times. Today has been pleasantly uneventful. I even stamped. I'll post that card next.

{{{HUGS}}} to all. Thank you for the kind cards, comments and support.

19 comments:

tammy b said...

holy moly!
you deserve a medal!

Joan said...

Oh you poor thing. Between your Mom and your tooth, you've had a rough go of it. I've had a dry socket and baby, that's rough too. So, I hope you dodged that bullet. I also hope your Mom goes into remission soon.

Flossie's Follies said...

My thought and prayers for your Mom, it is tough right now but should soon get a little better.

Kacey Elliott said...

Sorry to hear that it has been a rough couple of weeks for you. Keeping your mom in my prayers. Glad to see you made some time for yourself :-)

Karen said...

Oh girl! I know you are exhausted and I know it's hard. Take care of u!

Peggy Maier said...

So sorry to hear about your mom - but at least there's something they can do about it. My mom died of cancer of the pancreas a few months after being diagnosed. You've certainly been thru a lot! That's quite a bit of stress & pressure! I know what you mean about passing out when taking blood. Our 6'5" son does the same thing! : )

Charmaine (CharmWarm on SCS) said...

Wow, it has been a LONG week for you! Sorry to hear about your dentist appt. . .that is never fun. Hope you're feeling better now!

rebecca said...

All I can say is I've had days/weeks/months similar to yours -- and I lived through them. It helps to have willing shoulders to unload on. You know we're all here for you. Take care of yourself, too, while you're taking care of everyone else.

Becky said...

Take your burdens to the Lord for He alone carry them all. You and your mom are in my prayers.

Shadowcatcher said...

Oh, HUGS, Bethany! What an ordeal you've been going through. You're such a witty writer that even though I could all too well feel your pain, I laughed through most of the dentist story! Kick back and relax, girl! You deserve it.

Dana said...

Oh you poor thing. I too have a tendency to frequently and unexpectedly faint, so I HATE it when someone doesn't take me seriously when I know it's going to happen.
I sure hope your mouth and head feel better.

Your mom is in my thoughts.

Kirsten said...

We're still praying for you mom and family. I'm so sorry that life seems to be giving you more to worry about then your mom, right now. Sounds like you've had a pretty (excuse the term) sucky week. It's got to be better next week! Hugs to you!

Lauren (mytime) said...

Oh Bethany vent as much as possible! you are going through alot right now, and all the getting it out helps. Despite your horrible expierience it was enjoyable to read :D I HATE the dentist.

Your mom and your family have been in my prayers!!
I sent her a card last week or so.
Take care of yourself ok.

Christina Fischer said...

Wow... what a day! I'm glad you had the chance to rest and to stamp! Don't forget to take care of youself too, so you can be there for your parents. I'm keeping your mom in my prayers!

JudyOR said...

What a horrible stressful time for you. I am so sorry about your mom. It is so important you lower your stress level. I suspect your mom and dad are going to need more of your time in the future and you are going to need all your strength. Take very good care of yourself. My blessing to you and your family.

Heather P. said...

I'm a total fainter, so I can relate to your story!! LOL... I've passed out on airplanes, while watching a show at an amusement park, while standing in the ER after my c-section incision burst... Haha, it's so embarassing.

I really hope that things turn around for you and your mom... You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

Donna said...

{{hugs}} don't worry about sounding whiny-you're going through a lot right now...glad your dh is there to support you, you need that...it's not good to bottle things up. take care

Rose Ann said...

Bethany...I just want to send a BIG cyber hug your way..and lots of prayers.

Heather said...

Oh my --- hang in there!