It's Not All Black and White

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Friday Funny


Viagra

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:
MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

21 comments:

Julia Stainton said...

giggle... LOL You need to put a coffee spew warning on these!!!

Flossie's Follies said...

OMG, thanks for the laugh, this is hysterical,loved it. Hope all is going well.

shel9999 said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! Holy cow! That is HYSTERICAL (and kind of sad though). Thanks so much for the laugh! LOL!!!!! WOOOOOO....

Kathy said...

OMG, I about pimp when I read this! Thanks for sharing.

Regina D. said...

Absolutely hilarious! Laughing out loud here!

Vera Matson said...

Thanks for the chuckle today! Very funny!

Silvergirl said...

That is HILARIOUS!!! I hadn't seen this before. I work with a pharma company and they are always using the wild generic names... very, hilarious!!!

Thanks for sharing,
Lisa

Pam Speidel said...

ROFLOL!! :) Hilarious!

Karen P said...

Well, now that I have cleaned all the spewed tea off my monitor, that was hilarious! Thanks for the Friday *good one*!

Rose Ann said...

Oh my.....too funny, Bethany! What a great laugh!

Lauren (mytime) said...

OMG! Hilarious. Im showing this to my husband. he will get a kick out of it.

sandie c said...

Thanks for the laugh - is this a joke or is it really true?? I shared this with my DH and her roared with laughter.

Kathy B said...

I still haven't quit laughing. TFS I didn't get this till Saturday.

Mercy said...

you should have a warning beside your title that reads..."Please put bladder panties on now!" I think I peed a little laughing so hard! That was hilarious! You are crazy, girl!

Jan Scholl said...

thought you might like these ones too!

Other Forms of Viagra

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society....



DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.



PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.



CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."



COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.



BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.



NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.



NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.



FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.



FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.



PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."



LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.



or this one---

Viagra Side Effect

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" she asks.



He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."



At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires.



He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."



Come dinnertime, she asks "Do you want anything to eat. I'll go to the store and buy you some food. Would you like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe you'd like a microwave pizza or a tasty stir fry that would only take a couple of minutes?"



He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."



"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!"

sophia landry said...

This is hilarious!

Susan Liles susiestampalot said...

i love it! totally forwarding this to my friends. nothing wrong with daddy's little helper!! ha!!

Beth said...

Toooooo funny! I've got to share these with my co-workers- ER nurses!

Julie said...

OH MY GOSH - I just PIMPs!!!

Anonymous said...

This is great. I have been going blog-to-blog and this the first time I've anything this funny. Very unexpected and enjoyable!!!

Suzie

Julee T. (Shadowcatcher) said...

This was HILARIOUS. I read it to hubby last Friday and he almost spewed Dr. Pepper all over my screen! LOL! :)