The Friday Funny

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.

She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, " Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery! "

The husband said, " Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? "

"Doesn't matter, " she said. " Just get out. "

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

" Read it? " the Polish guy replied, " I know the guy. "

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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, " I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent. "

"Thank God, " said an elderly nun at the back. " I'm so tired of chardonnay. "